The Underview on 2001: Fun Bits

The Underview on 2001
FUN BITS

2001: The Unrecorded Dialogues		2001: An ASCII Odyssey		2001: Some Truths Revealed
Heywood Floyd's Dilemma		Moonwatcher's Autograph		The Hal Problem: An Australian Solution

2001: Selections from The Private Dialogues

In the galley (A cabin attendant's prayer):
"Please, if there must be another power cut, let it not be right now..."

(Livening up a dull shift:)
"I've mixed them up, let's see if he notices." Mealtime

The moonbus cockpit (Banter in the cockpit:)
"Trust me, if there really was an epidemic you wouldn't catch Floyd within a million miles of this hell-hole."

(Floyd, disappointed:) "A monolith? Is that it?"
(Halvorsen, nonplussed:) "Sorry, Dr. Floyd. We figure they took the interesting bits with them." T.M.A.-1

In the access way (Dave tires of Frank's constant practical jokes:)
"Alright, Frank, that's very funny. Now get that aircon fixed, or I'll set Hal on to you."

(Dave's birthday surprise for Frank will have unforeseen consequences:)
"OK, Hal, I'll line you up with the pod window just... so.
Frank will never suspect a thing." In the podbay

2001: An ASCII Odyssey

You may need to tilt your head leftwards a bit to get some of these. Or you could always tip your monitor on end.

The Dawn of Man

Moonwatcher checks out the monolith

Moonwatcher tosses the bone

Floyd approaches the space station

The Orion approaches the moon

The monolith sends its signal

A view of Discovery 1

Close-up of Hal's eye

HAL 9000

"I've just picked up a fault in the AE-35 unit"

"I don't think he can hear us, Frank"

Dave stalks Frank

"Open the pod bay doors, Hal"

"Dave...stop. Will you stop, Dave"

The Monolith reveals itself

"My God - it's full of stars!"

Through the Stargate

Dave in the Stargate

The Starchild returns to Earth

Another version of Discovery

My cats watch me work

2001: The Truth about Evolution and the Star Child

Fragments discovered in the backlot of the MGM studios in Borehamwood.

The Evolution Plan Goes Horribly Wrong

Alien project manager: Give me an update on the monolith plan.

Alien analyst: Do you want the good news or the bad news?

Alien project manager: It's been a bad millennium, let's hear something good.

Alien analyst: The plan worked great, we sped up evolution a zillion times.

Alien project manager: Wonderful! And the bad news?

Alien analyst: Well, you remember those dumb ape creatures we wanted to get rid of? Our security system broke and they reached the monolith first. Now we've got human beings all over the Solar System...

The Truth about the Star Child

Alien project manager: What's being done about these human beings drifting around our solar system?

Alien analyst: We have a cleanup task force out there now.

Alien project manager: Right! How are they doing?

Alien analyst: Those humans are weirder than we thought. They built this primitive machine, talk about temperamental! It chucked one of them clear out of orbit, would you believe - it should be coming past any time, watch out for a yellow spacesuit.

Alien project manager: Oh, wonderful! What strange creatures. How about the other one?

Alien analyst: We managed to catch it blundering into one of our stargates, and gave it the old "turn into higher life form" treatment. Totally confused the poor beggar, every time it looked at itself we'd completely changed it, ha, ha! Spacesuit one day, dressing gown the next, it had the guys here in stitches, you should have heard them screech!
There wasn't much left of it by the time we'd finished, so we throught we might as well dump it back where it came from, it should keep their astronomers busy for ages.

Alien project manager: Nice work. Tell me more about that machine, I can think of a few characters around here who could do with chucking out of orbit.

Alien analyst: All under control, we grabbed it while it was gawping at the stargate. You'll find it in the Jupiter spacepark singing to itself...

The Spaceliner Passenger's Nightmare

"Passengers are advised to read instructions before use"
As all travellers know, simple things become more complicated away from home.
Somebody in Kubrick's team was lucky enough to get the job of dreaming up appropriate instructions for such things, in a time before designers were able to insult human intelligence with graphical user interfaces.
Click here for Those Instructions

At Last: a Signed Picture of Moonwatcher

Moonwatcher's autograph

An Australian Solution to the Hal Problem

Hal - status On Hal - status Off

Start this page again.

Home Page

	(A cabin attendant's prayer): "Please, if there must be another power cut, let it not be right now..."
(Livening up a dull shift:) "I've mixed them up, let's see if he notices."
	(Banter in the cockpit:) "Trust me, if there really was an epidemic you wouldn't catch Floyd within a million miles of this hell-hole."
(Floyd, disappointed:) "A monolith? Is that it?" (Halvorsen, nonplussed:) "Sorry, Dr. Floyd. We figure they took the interesting bits with them."
	(Dave tires of Frank's constant practical jokes:) "Alright, Frank, that's very funny. Now get that aircon fixed, or I'll set Hal on to you."
(Dave's birthday surprise for Frank will have unforeseen consequences:) "OK, Hal, I'll line you up with the pod window just... so. Frank will never suspect a thing."

	The Dawn of Man
	Moonwatcher checks out the monolith
	Moonwatcher tosses the bone
	Floyd approaches the space station
	The Orion approaches the moon
	The monolith sends its signal
	A view of Discovery 1
	Close-up of Hal's eye
	HAL 9000
	"I've just picked up a fault in the AE-35 unit"
	"I don't think he can hear us, Frank"
	Dave stalks Frank
	"Open the pod bay doors, Hal"
	"Dave...stop. Will you stop, Dave"
	The Monolith reveals itself
	"My God - it's full of stars!"
	Through the Stargate
	Dave in the Stargate
	The Starchild returns to Earth
	Another version of Discovery
	My cats watch me work

The Evolution Plan Goes Horribly Wrong
Alien project manager:	Give me an update on the monolith plan.
Alien analyst:	*Do you want the good news or the bad news?*
Alien project manager:	It's been a bad millennium, let's hear something good.
Alien analyst:	*The plan worked great, we sped up evolution a zillion times.*
Alien project manager:	Wonderful! And the bad news?
Alien analyst:	*Well, you remember those dumb ape creatures we wanted to get rid of? Our security system broke and they reached the monolith first. Now we've got human beings all over the Solar System...*
The Truth about the Star Child
Alien project manager:	What's being done about these human beings drifting around our solar system?
Alien analyst:	*We have a cleanup task force out there now.*
Alien project manager:	Right! How are they doing?
Alien analyst:	Those humans are weirder than we thought. They built this primitive machine, talk about temperamental! It chucked one of them clear out of orbit, would you believe - it should be coming past any time, watch out for a yellow spacesuit.
Alien project manager:	Oh, wonderful! What strange creatures. How about the other one?
Alien analyst:	We managed to catch it blundering into one of our stargates, and gave it the old "turn into higher life form" treatment. Totally confused the poor beggar, every time it looked at itself we'd completely changed it, ha, ha! Spacesuit one day, dressing gown the next, it had the guys here in stitches, you should have heard them screech! *There wasn't much left of it by the time we'd finished, so we throught we might as well dump it back where it came from, it should keep their astronomers busy for ages.*
Alien project manager:	Nice work. Tell me more about that machine, I can think of a few characters around here who could do with chucking out of orbit.
Alien analyst:	*All under control, we grabbed it while it was gawping at the stargate. You'll find it in the Jupiter spacepark singing to itself...*